I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
