I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
