Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
