those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize