How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Randomize
