you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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