Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
