This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize