My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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