if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
