biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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