Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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