Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
