shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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