This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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