Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
