I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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