I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
