Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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