wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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