I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
