i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
