Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
