Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize