Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
