ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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