Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
