I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
