We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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