Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
