So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you had me at cake vodka
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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