Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
