due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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