Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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