Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
