clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can I color on your dick again?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
