the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
