? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize