when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
