He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
