Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
