i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
barbara walters just said penis...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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