I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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