i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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