I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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