Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
