That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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