I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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