But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
