1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize