I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We left the knife in your bed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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