At least make sure they are 18
Why
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize