Don't you send me to vm
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
