dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
