He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
