I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
