How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
