I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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